About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just found a bag of teeth...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
