There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
