The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
