Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
