We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
