We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
