The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
