There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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