Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
