sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
