I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
