please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
