this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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