you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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