I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
