i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
