Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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