Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
