"it" just moved
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
