Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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