I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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