New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
