distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
