I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
