Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
