Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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