What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
