i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
