Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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