Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
