I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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