I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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