Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
