It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Text me some of your sweat
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
