We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
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i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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