Can Purell be used as lube?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
