Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
