don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
