Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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