Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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