CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
