Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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