May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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