Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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