Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
