If i come over, it means nothing
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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