Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
