YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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