so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
honey bunches of taint.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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