1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
