why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
