Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
