id be glad to
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
as a side note pls kill me
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
