I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
