Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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